You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
