DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
