Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
