I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
