the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Randomize
