Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
