We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
