You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
