In the future we'll all be gay
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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