Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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