I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
