There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
