it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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