It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
