bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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