just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
