Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
