You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
