dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
