It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize