I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
