I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
