if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
