K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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