She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You need Xanax blowdarts
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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