So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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