the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
as a side note pls kill me
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
There are leaves in my underwear?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
