nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize