I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize