This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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