I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
