I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
