so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
