We named our party play list daddy issues
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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