out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
