My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
