I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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