OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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