For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
