you guys were way drunker than both of me
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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