I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
