I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This can only be settled by a dance off.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
