I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
this hospital has no fireball
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
there is glitter all over my balls
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
