I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
