It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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