He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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