My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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