It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
