i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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