Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
this is an emotional support booty call
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
