tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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