The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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