I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize