i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
