Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize