He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
