I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize