I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
