i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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