Non-Jews are for practice
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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