hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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