Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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